Ms. Retrospective

Catch a glimpse of the mundane adventures in my life, my artwork, and my warped night dreams!

Red Laser Light Workout!

January5

Tonight I decided that I needed to get some exercise into my winter evening routine.  Last night I tried to workout with “Mia” my McDonald’s digital personal trainer.  Amazingly enough, she is moderately effective!  Displayed as a graphic in a digital setting, she leads one through Cardio, Core, Strength, and Yoga workouts.  I have 3 of the four DVD’s but the drive through lady at McDonald’s didn’t have the Yoga disk when I ordered my salad.  Last year I burned some fat (or at least wasted my breath) on her workouts.  The background music is lacking in it’s enthusiasm and variety, but I was focused for a while, especially when she gave me commands while she omitted no sweat from her computer-generated body.  Every once in a while Dixie (my black, beagle-mix dog) would jump into the action and mess up my groove.

Last night with Mia I had some challenges, beyond being out of shape and fighting an uphill battle with the bit of flabbiness developing over my once skinny-ass abs!  Willey, my 3 month old kitten, was watching me bounce around the living room while also melting by the wood burning stove.  A couple of times she pounced at my feet but I quickly picked her up and plopped her back onto the couch pillow.  Unfortunately, one time is all it took to end my workout session.  Side stepping to the grapevine exercise move, I experienced what felt like needles piercing my left ankle.  I shrieked as I was knocked off balance and stumbled backwards.  I looked below me and tried to control my feet but Willey and her tiny needles, I mean claws, were skidding underneath.  Not knowing which way to go to avoid the big-footed, amazon-woman above, Willey’s body unwillingly met the rug.  What followed was not just a forced squeak coming from the feline creature, but also the end to my attempt at exercising that night.

Willey was fine, minus her little ego, but I figured that I would have to put all four of my pets away before working out again. The thought of them being confined more than necessary, frustrated me.  Brainstorming on how to still exercise, I decided to run around outside with the dogs after work tonight.  I got all bundled up and grabbed the mag light so that I could see the stick that I would throw to them.

As I opened the front door, I saw the laser light that I got for Christmas, and the girls and I pushed our way into the winter night.  As soon as the laser was on the ground, so were the dog’s noses.  Over our 5 acres of grass they ran as fast as I led them with the light beam.  Back and forth across the acreage they chased it’s bright red glow.  Not a bad workout for dogs, but what about me?  I started to jog around my house with the laser right along side me.  Of course I had dependable companions on my jog; those who were obsessed with the red spot, shakily following on the ground.  I wondered if any of my neighbors could see me, and if so, what they would think of the sight of me: winter boots (to keep my regular shoes from getting muddy), black sweatpants, black jacket, and a grey-fleeced balaclava topping off the outfit.

Running five laps and debating with myself on how far I had gone, I paused to take in the brisk air.  We all went inside for a quick water break and after asking Matt about the distance, he guessed I jogged a quarter mile–Maybe.  He was just humoring me by taking a wild guess no doubt. Going out again, I ran five more laps   Distance didn’t matter as long as I was being active I assumed.  Having the distraction of silly dogs huffing beside me, tracking imaginary prey, I was fairly entertained as well! One can only wager a guess if I have started a new exercise trend tonight: “The Laser-light Lope”!

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