Ms. Retrospective

Catch a glimpse of the mundane adventures in my life, my artwork, and my warped night dreams!

Girl’s Night Out Dream

May31

Susie and I were out parking our cars and crossing busy city streets at night.  I showed Susie my old shoes.  We helped Octavia get ready for the evening with bright blue eye shadow.  It was sparkly.

ThE eNd

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Ice Skating/ Prison Bus Dream

May30

I won an ice-skating competition.  It was a pairs contest and I was with another girl.  We did well.  The awards ceremony included a show of whales doing tricks under water.  I went to campus with my sister and we sang songs at a church service.  I had to drive home alone so I went and hung out with some cute guys on campus.  We watched a movie.

I took a bus which I realized was a prison bus.  I sat with this little girl and I wondered what she had done to be in prison.  I taught the prisoners how to live well on the ride.

I walked a huge fluffy dog and bought cat treats for it.  The cashier told me the treats were recalled so I threw the can.  It bounced into a cart and then I put it back on the shelf.

ThE eNd

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Babysitting/ Shopping Dream

May28

I was babysitting some girls that I had babysat a long time ago.  The kids were 2 or 3 when I babysat them and now they were older.  We talked about the past.  The older girl was snotty now.  I went shopping for clothes at a second hand store and when I woke up I thought that I actually had those clothes in my closet… but of course they were not there! 🙁

ThE eNd

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Horny Kitten Dream

May27

I was in a group where we had a bunch of kittens.  They kept rubbing against us.  I was at a concert and had to use the bathroom.  Matt and I were in the band and he wouldn’t shut up.  Because of his chatter, the band couldn’t play.  It hurt to play my clarinet.  My teeth hurt.  I was much older than the rest of the band.

I was driving along a country road and a deer crossed the street.  One deer saw me and jumped on me!

My old boss was my boss again and he asked someone where the “Horny Account” was.  I was told that I was the Horny Administrator!

ThE eNd

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Laser Pen/ Crap & Vomit Dream

May26

A lady came up to me at this gothic church where I was attending a funeral.  She asked me if I knew how valuable the laser pen in her hand was.  I said of course I knew.  It was millions!  Well, she asked if I wanted because the guy who owned it was a cop and had just died in a shoot out last night.  She said he wanted me to have it.  I was really sad about the cop but accepted the pen.  I went to a bookshelf and started carving a masterpiece in the wood: a carving of the Grand Canyon and creepy faces staring out from it.

My sister got out of her car and I saw a lump of hair and brown goo on the console.  She put it on her back behind her neck and said that it was her vomit and poo.  She said that she had vomited and crapped at the same time and wanted to save it!  I consoled her for her loss.

ThE eNd

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Money Dream

May25

I was in Huber Ridge neighborhood where a girl was riding my bike!  I asked for it back and she gave it to me.  I tied on a red wagon to it and rode off.

I went out to eat with some ladies at church and we went shopping I snuck away because I was bored and ran along side of the traffic on the street.  I found the ladies again and there were sweaters on sale: 2 for 5 only 2 for $70.00 – that is what one lady said anyway.  We went to a restaurant and there was a clear phone booth-shaped thing where you could go inside and catch the money that blew around.  I gave it a try and won $550.00!  Everyone commented that I really had caught a lot of cash!

ThE eNd

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Back to School Dream

May24

I went back to school and my teacher said that I was misbehaving.  IT was my birthday and so I left class to get lunch.  The food was $10.00 a meal.  I woke up in my dream and got ready for class.  Matt was eating and I realized that I was driving away and hadn’t told anyone.  Dixie followed me miles away.  I scratched my head and sat in traffic.  I got to my class but I was 5 minutes late and it was gym class.  I forgot my deodorant too!  I told my friend that I could use chicken instead of deodorant since that is what I had for lunch earlier.  I went to the bathroom but the second door into the bathroom was a small slit in the wall.  It was eye level and I peered inside to see a 3 foot tall girl at the mirror.  The bathroom had an open ceiling and trees and flowers were growing inside.  I asked the girl how she got in and she said that she could fit through the crack in the wall.  I told her that the bricks right by me looked like they were filling in what used to be a door.  She kicked the bricks and I got in the bathroom.  The gym teacher came and found me since I wasn’t in class and I knew I was going to be in trouble!

ThE eNd

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Alanis Morissette Dream

May22

Alanis Morissette was in an ice-skating competition on the football field.  She did ok but didn’t win.

I had a job where I was doing data entry but I couldn’t get the system so I quit.  When I first got there, Matt had dropped me off and gave me a sandwich in the car.  My sister picked me up from work in an old 1930’s model-T ford convertible.

I went to school and everyone had gifts for each other.  I embroidered a picture for a teacher that I had.  It was a picture of a camouflaged quilt in front of a red Chevy station wagon.  The boys in my class told me it was a Chevy.  There was an old man in the front seat of the car in the drawing.  The class liked it, but I asked for it back so that I could work on it some more.  It wasn’t finished enough for me.

ThE eNd

I think you should try to make that quilt

Posted by Jen on May 29, 2007 7:07 PM

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Theme Park Dream

May20

I was in a theme park where there were tunnels to slide down. They were brightly colored plastics: red and purples and oranges. Before I could participate, I had to take a safety class at night, downtown. There were a lot of people on the streets outside. My sister and Jessica R (from kindergarten) were with me and Ben and Mel and Jen. Johnny M (from hardware store) couldn’t come because he had homework. I had only 1 and half hours to play in the theme park.

ThE eNd

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Island Dream

May19

Looking out over the ocean on a wooden deck, I decided that I wanted to visit the island that I saw in the distance.  I could see waterfalls, boats and theme parks on the island.  I dropped a nutty chocolate bar down in the ocean and it was a long drop from the deck/scaffolding.   A huge bird flew my way, so I climbed down and started swimming toward the island.  A piranha bit my arm which paralyzed me in time like on Super Mario Bros. when they get hit by a turtle-mushroom thing.  When I was unfrozen, I saw that the bite mark was still in my arm… with teeth marks and everything.  I got to the island and a little kid grabbed onto my leg and then disappeared into the woods.  I caught up to the kid but any way I tried, I could not see his face.  They pulled down their diapers and I told them to lose weight.  I took a nap in an attic that I found and all kinds of bugs were tickling me.  I went downstairs and these rednecks were having a party.  A cake was brought out which was in the shape of a hippie-like skirt.  When the cake was cut open, and then inside had the same pattern as the icing.  The rednecks played a prank on this one guy and had a dead rat fall on him in the barn.  Annie was there and her hair was falling out of her butt area.  She had cancer spots all over her body and I commented that the drugs used to put her to sleep didn’t work completely and that it was just killing the cancer spots.  I hugged her neck.  Dixie and Casey were “dead” too.  They were lying in my lap and I said that it was cool how when they breathed or yawned, that no breath came out of their mouths.  I pushed on Dixie’s tummy to prove this phenomenon!

ThE eNd

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