Ms. Retrospective

Catch a glimpse of the mundane adventures in my life, my artwork, and my warped night dreams!

Tornado Plowing Dream



Matt was outside of an old country restaurant looking at the sky.  I went out and asked him what he was looking at and he pointed at a large grey tornado coming our way.  I told the people in the restaurant but not to worry too much because it was at least 20 feet away.  We all looked out the window and saw the tornado go by us.  I was not afraid.

After it vanished, we went out to see what damage it had caused.  All around the area we could see the path it took, literally.  There were 5 foot grooves in the ground where it traveled.  Unfortunately, some paths cut through cars and houses.  No one got hurt and while we cleaned up one home, a lady gave me tomatoes and cookies.

ThE eNd

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Rainbow Dream


I rode my bike on a trail with bright sunlight and vibrantly colored trees.  Turning at a bend in the path, I couldn’t go any farther because water covered the road.  I turned around and passed a group of people sitting by a graffiti wall by the trees.  I started to float up and found myself not knowing which direction I was.  Surrounded by swirling colors of light and clouds, I enjoyed the feelings of being free and unaware.


I was taking some philosophy art classes with an instructor who was most likely a past hippie.  He had white fluffy hair and spoke with a spacey intellectual flair.   As I told him about the floating experience, we walked  into a white concrete building through a maze of narrow gray halls.  I sat in a white, empty room with a girl friend while our rings were “rainbowized”.  The platinum turned into what looked like oil mixed with water that one would see on a parking lot.

ThE eNd

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My Repulsive Reflection


Ulgy Reflection

My mood was mixed with anger and sadness as I watched a BBC series featuring the Phelps’s Westboro Baptist Church,  who is known for their hate protests around the world.  This post is not regarding their beliefs or the controversy around them; it is about seeing my past self in their arrogant attitude.

The emotions I felt settled into one solidifying emotion as I reflected on the BBC series: shame.  Pastor Fred Phelps says in the BBC documentary, “Get to some stuff that I am the only one who can answer.  Then we can have a good interview.” Unfortunately, I have shared this self-righteous precept in my life.

My past feelings were not the same as the Phelps’s message of  “God hating fags”, “Thank God for 9/11” etc., but on the overlying principal that I was right and everyone else was completely wrong regarding religion. More than wrong, I felt that others around me were incapable of understanding the truth that I knew.

I remember having one conversation with my husband where I acted arrogantly towards his “false” opinions.  I am ashamed to write that I had felt this way even now.  I am more ashamed that I, as well as countless others, am so capable of blindly following ideas as they are overpowering our brains.  Whether it is a religion, a cult, a government, a social network, or biased media, we are all in danger of being conformed to that group’s view.

It is the extreme views that are the most dangerous and rightfully so.  There are religious groups as well as socialist groups who draw in followers who hold similar ideas to begin with, continually molding it into a unified body.  The obvious notable extremist groups include the Taliban, the Ku Klux Klan, and the Nazi Regime.

With these groups as well as other less threatening groups, the individual self is slowly destroyed and the new “oneness” solidifies with the group.  Slowly, over time and persuasion, they become a human time bomb.  The conglomeration of same-thought overtakes the organization and destroys both the “self” and the outsiders around it.

Dangerous “us versus them” doctrines are what destroys humanity. Whether the idea of supremacy originates from ancient books, tradition, or brainwashing, nearly every “group” is a potential threat to humanity depending upon that one “supreme” conviction. This “hive mind” behavior scares me.

I would like to say that I am independent of others’ overpowering influence over my life, but I cannot.  I feel helpless and limited by this concept.  I want to be able to think in original ways apart from the past and present masses.  I want to be someone who can see the truth without having to distinguish between polar reasoning.

That is the sadness I feel.  I am ashamed of my human limits in body and mind.  I have been learning to not trust others, that they too are only piecing together life’s answers as they find them.  Unfortunately, I now know that I cannot trust my self either, that nothing is certain.

Being consciously aware that at any given point my views on any subject could be corrected by another view, restrains my words. Relinquishing one’s “absolute truth” is scary because that opens one up to vulnerability. A group atmosphere naturally creates a secure feeling for the individual and they are willing to sacrifice their mind for that security.  I, too, had willingly done this in the past, but I am doing my best to take back my mind.

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Jewelry Holder Project


Necklace Holder Project

Above is the jewelry holder that I made this weekend.   I bought an inexpensive bamboo cutlery holder and lined the inside with craft paper.  The paper was semi transparent and shows some of the wood grain behind.  I used rubber cement so that it wouldn’t wrinkle up.  Next I used screen door fixtures to hang the jewelry on.  The back screws were flat and worked nicely so that they wouldn’t stick out too much on the backside.  The screw went into the post like a drawer knob would.

I had an old skirt with lace at the bottom and used that for hanging my earrings.  I have used a screen before to hang my earrings before but I found that this kept them in a nice row.  I sewed the skirt together to make three rows: a short earring row, a medium size for larger earrings and a bottom row where my large, dangle earrings could hang.  I tacked the material onto the bottom edge of the cutlery holder and used a pink leather cord that was left from the skirt to hand the jewelry holder from.

This turned out nice since I can use wall space instead of sitting necklace trees and earring holders on my dresser.  So far, the cats haven’t discovered this jewelry holder yet and even when they do, it will be difficult for them to reach it.

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