Ms. Retrospective

Catch a glimpse of the mundane adventures in my life, my artwork, and my warped night dreams!

Farm House-Lunch Break Dream

July28

I was at work and there was a-shirt contest.  We were to take white shirts and make them colorful and it went along with a theme.  I spent a while creating mine but before the contest, thought that it was too typical of what everyone else would have.  I showed up to the fast food line in a black and white polka dotted dress and ensemble. Everyone was impressed.

Matt and I rushed home to eat lunch and I was having hot flashes so I took off all of my clothes and sat on a chair in a parlor room.  Our house was up on a hill and it was a huge white farm house with high ceilings and mostly empty rooms.

Someone knocked at the door and it was some old friend’s parents.  I saw them through the window at the door and was annoyed to see them.

Matt let them in too soon and they saw me putting my clothes back on and I got under a blanket saying that I wasn’t feeling well. Since I  didn’t want to see them anyway, I didn’t talk much to them, but they wanted a tour of the house.

Matt’s granny came by too and wanted a tour so we said okay.  I started decorating the house for Christmas by putting wreaths on the front door.  Outside, though I looked at some giant flowers as tall as a person, growing by the side of the road. They were bathed in the misty light and I wanted to remember to take pictures of them later.

I was told that my boss and Matt’s boss were upstairs and that I was supposed to climb a very narrow stairway to tell them that we would be back soon.  I got very claustrophobic in the small beige space, but made it up and down a few times, bringing them a few things.

Matt and I took a walk and found a lady coming down from a cliff, very beat up and scratched up.  Her husband ran over and said that the wolf attacked her.  We started searching for the wolf and on the way, the lady died.

Back at the house out front in the yard a group of us were trying to figure out who the wolf was.  We knew somehow that the warewolf grabbed the lady’s leg a certain way so we knew to look for that in our suspects.

As we sat around together thinking and watching out for each other, the lady’s husband grabbed my leg casually why everyone was distracted and I motioned to matt that he was the one who killed her.  The men pounced on him and tied him up while the ware wolf glared at me for catching him.

After that was over, I went back inside the large white farm house and met up with some fairy tale princesses.  They welcomed me in and showed me a bunch of kittens they had found.  I sat on the kitchen floor and hugged a couple of them.  These were kittens from my past, the princesses said but now were currently dead. I hugged the kittens and cried over their future (but actually past) deaths.

In the front room of the house I saw a kitten swinging on a ceiling lamp.  It had crawled up there by climbing up the curtains. I saw a bunch of other kittens crawling up the curtains and decided to fix the situation.  I took all of the curtains down and grabbed all of the blankets in the house.  I shut them up in the back room and told everyone not to open the door because the kittens would ruin them.

Sitting down in the front room, we watched TV and I saw smoke rising up from behind the TV stand.  I ran over and saw that a cord was broken in two and smouldering.  I unplugged it and it was known that the cord would keep burning even if unplugged.

I wrapped it in plastic and ran to my parent’s bedroom.  Getting ready for bed, my parents told me that wrapping it up wasn’t going to stop the fire and said that I should go to the hardware store to find the answer.

Matt and I started out but didn’t know the way.  Matt texted his mom and she gave us directions to the nearest hardware store.  Once there, they gave us slime in a bucket to put the cord in to keep it from burning.

Lunch break was finally over and Matt and I headed back to work.  At work, I stood on the desk and shut the curtains to keep out the light.  I was asked by Matt’s mom to run downstairs to pick up some things for her.

On the basement floor was a large dorm room.  There were numerous bunk beds lined up in rows. I sat on one but it was dark and dirty and I was hesitant to make myself comfortable.

I found another bunk bed to wait on which was by a kiddy pool set up to look like a small pond.  A large, sloppy lady came and sat down and she welcomed me to the room.  Matt’s mom returned and she began to perform a dance for us.  I noticed that her backside was a large bubble shape the size of two bean bags.

I met up with a small group in an even darker corner of the dorm basement.  They were discussing science fiction technology and I didn’t know anything about it.  We watched a large flat screen monitor of ocean life with music playing in the background.

Feeling out of place,  I headed back upstairs but the stairs didn’t line up as they normally would at each turning platform. Instead I had to turn a crank and pull some ropes, causing the next stairs to come towards me.  Once I did this, I had to crawl under a tight space to start my accent. Once to the top I sat at my cubicle and started working again.

ThE eNd

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Middle School Gym Dream (nap)

July25

I was hurrying to get to gym class. I had just found out that I had not actually completed a gym class in the past.  Matt and I rushed away to a hardware store to pick some stuff up and I was worried I would be late for my 2pm-something class.

I felt I was running late so I said goodbye to Matt and hopped on a bike.  I merged into traffic (a long line of bicyclists) where  I finally made it to the boat dock.  This is where I needed to catch the ferry over to the gym class.

I realized as we were heading over that this gym class wasn’t in high school but in middle school!  I walked through the lobby and talked with a young boy in charge of lockers.  I needed to get one to put my clothes in.

At first, he had given me a locker on the fourth floor in a maze of  hallways. I asked for one on the main floor because as I told him, I hadn’t been to middle school in years.

I walked to the teacher’s lounge and poked my head in to make sure I was actually supposed to be at middle school (instead of at the high school). I had forgotten my purse in Matt’s truck so I didn’t have my ID on me but the lady looked me up and said I was supposed to take a whole year’s worth of gym. I told her that I was under the impression that I was only supposed to take a quarter.

A large man with glasses went to go find my transcripts so I made small chat with the teachers sitting down about to start their meeting.  I saw a few old teachers of mine walk by and I waved.  They said I was looking good.

I turned into an old lady with curly white hair and I began to tell the teachers how I was going to revolutionize the middle school gym experience.  I was going to be a teacher/camp like counselor and make gym a fun experience.  Walking into the gymnasium, the kids were roll playing a Salem witch trial.  I said that the kids shouldn’t be shackled to the chairs and that they should have fun.

ThE eNd

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Fruit Fight Dream

July25

My classmates and I were given fruit cakes as awards for getting questions right in class. Our desks were arranged in rows and sitting in a courtyard on the grass.

The teacher had yes/no questions and seemed fairly straight forward for the other students.  When it got to my turn, the question I got was theoretical and didn’t have just a “yes” or “no” answer.

I fought with the teacher and the class that it was not simply definitive. This went on for a while, dividing the class.  I got VERY mad and uptight about it (almost stormed away.)

The teacher wanted to have a strawberry award versus blueberry award volleyball game.  I didn’t participate because I was still upset and the strawberries near me on the floor didn’t get counted.  I threw them over to them when they found out that their count was off.

Class was over and we were cleaning up fruit and the pallets they came on.  There were many and they seemed to start piling up on top of each other. To get out of the mess, we had to climb escalators. Those carrying strawberries had to go on one escalator and those carrying blueberries on another.

Someone didn’t like that I was on the wrong escalator and made it stop moving so that I would turn around. I refused and pushed my way up and once at the top, I stopped the escalator on the other side where my teacher was.  This made things worse.

We started shoving the fruit fairies (small girls in fruit clothing) into crates to clean up faster. It looked like yogurt cups being put into 6-pack trays. I was doing it wrong and others were too.  The crates and fruit fairies grew to the size of a small construction site.

Then crates were piling up around us and we couldn’t get out.  We had to have the people at the top send crates back down for us to stand on.  We also were told to undo the packing job that we did and section off by fruit.  Instead of just a couple of fruits, there were raspberry fairies, grape fairies, cherry fairies, etc etc.

I started throwing strawberry fairies up to those collecting them.  It got messy because some people didn’t want me throwing fairies while others kept taking crates out from under my feet.

I finally got out to the top of the mound and ran out of the school to catch the bus.  On my way, I grabbed some wood boards and knocked at the posts holding up the school ceiling in defiance.

ThE eNd

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Grocery Store Floor Dream

July6

I went into a local grocery store and the floor looked nice and slippery.  Some toy airplanes were rolling through the isles to give out coupons.  I jumped up and slid across the floor toward the airplane. At that same moment, an old lady grocery clerk shouted at me.

I got up quickly, thinking that she was yelling at me for sliding through the store.  Before she spoke, I thought about how absurd this reaction would be since I saw no signs telling me not to slide on my belly.

The lady said that her glasses were broken and that she was trying to make a phone call but didn’t have any change.  She said that since I was on the floor already, could I slide around and find some change for her.

I was happy to do so and slid about through the isles handing her nickles and dimes.  Once she had enough, I got up and ran out to meet Matt in his truck.  We were headed out to a vacation and the truck cab was full of luggage.

While I was driving I saw a car stalled in the lane in front of me and instead of stopping I tried to do a 180 turn into the next lane.  This plan didn’t work and I rammed the car into the next lane’s traffic.

When everything stopped Matt and I got out of the truck and waited by the side of the road with those we crashed into.  The cop told me what the others had said happened.  When I tried to tell him my version, he cut me off.  I cut him off right back and said that he would hear my version.  I said that it was all my fault because the car was stalled and I was trying to avoid it- poorly!

Matt and I went into a toy warehouse and browsed the dark isles.  I found some old Moon Dreamer figurines and my sister was there by me telling me that I loved playing with the purple haired girl from She-Ra when I was little.  I was excited to buy the doll and headed off to see what else the place had.

Toward the back of the store where it was even more dark than the front (as if no overhead lights were on) I saw some neat kites that would be fun to fly at my house.  The pricetags said $100 and I decided that they wouldn’t be “that” fun afterall.

ThE eNd

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