Ms. Retrospective

Catch a glimpse of the mundane adventures in my life, my artwork, and my warped night dreams!

Grocery Store Floor Dream

July6

I went into a local grocery store and the floor looked nice and slippery.  Some toy airplanes were rolling through the isles to give out coupons.  I jumped up and slid across the floor toward the airplane. At that same moment, an old lady grocery clerk shouted at me.

I got up quickly, thinking that she was yelling at me for sliding through the store.  Before she spoke, I thought about how absurd this reaction would be since I saw no signs telling me not to slide on my belly.

The lady said that her glasses were broken and that she was trying to make a phone call but didn’t have any change.  She said that since I was on the floor already, could I slide around and find some change for her.

I was happy to do so and slid about through the isles handing her nickles and dimes.  Once she had enough, I got up and ran out to meet Matt in his truck.  We were headed out to a vacation and the truck cab was full of luggage.

While I was driving I saw a car stalled in the lane in front of me and instead of stopping I tried to do a 180 turn into the next lane.  This plan didn’t work and I rammed the car into the next lane’s traffic.

When everything stopped Matt and I got out of the truck and waited by the side of the road with those we crashed into.  The cop told me what the others had said happened.  When I tried to tell him my version, he cut me off.  I cut him off right back and said that he would hear my version.  I said that it was all my fault because the car was stalled and I was trying to avoid it- poorly!

Matt and I went into a toy warehouse and browsed the dark isles.  I found some old Moon Dreamer figurines and my sister was there by me telling me that I loved playing with the purple haired girl from She-Ra when I was little.  I was excited to buy the doll and headed off to see what else the place had.

Toward the back of the store where it was even more dark than the front (as if no overhead lights were on) I saw some neat kites that would be fun to fly at my house.  The pricetags said $100 and I decided that they wouldn’t be “that” fun afterall.

ThE eNd

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Myself With Myself as Toddler Dream

June19

I was carrying myself as a toddler and I asked my small self  how I could stand the strands of hair blowing in my face. I guessed at that age, I didn’t pay attention.  My little self was fussy and didn’t want to talk to me.  I was trying to introduce her to my friends to show them what I was like as a toddler.  That wasn’t a great idea.  Once I (as a toddler) stopped fussing, she fell asleep on my shoulder and I carried her around a department store with some family.

I wanted my little self to rest on a display bed at the mall but the family wanted to move on.  We got into a fight and I stayed behind and played with some He-man figurines, contemplating if anyone would notice if a few of them disappeared with me.  My family came back and said they were leaving and I told them to get out of Delaware!

ThE eNd

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Moving Work Dream

June13

I was in my old church’s Sunday school classrooms unpacking my work stuff.  I was dusting and trying to find places for my office supplies. I found a bunch of extra scissors and was very excited about that!

I was in charge of organizing where the new employee’s would sit and made up name tags for their doors.  As I walked down the hallway, the rooms looked more like dorm rooms and the employees were making up their beds.

Lady Gaga and some other music stars were in one room and I got down on one knee, took her hand and thanked her for her work.

ThE eNd

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Antique Findings Dream

June7

I was at a high school band practice and my clarinet broke.  I was told to use one from the back room and it would be mine.  I pulled out an old clarinet case with dust all over it.

Opening it, I found an antique clarinet with notes on it that it was from the 1500’s.  Inside the case were carved drawings of ships and castles. I was so excited about this find and showed everyone.  Those around me told me to go look in an old car out back and I would see more old things.

The old truck was one of the first trucks ever made. It’s bed was loaded with old knick-knacks, instruments, sewing supplies, tools and books.  I cranked up the truck and it up and it actually started.  I got in and drove it out of the lot.  I was a little nervous driving it at twilight since I wasn’t sure if the headlights worked and if I would be able to drive fast enough to keep up with traffic.

I pulled into an amusement park dedicated to historical homes and shops.  I drove right through some shops admiring their authenticity.  A couple of store owners were upset that I was driving through but they couldn’t catch me.

As I kept on driving, the “townsfolk” chased me out to the factory area.  I drove up a ramp up towards a building that was not finished yet.  Towards the top, I saw that there was a bunch of popcorn piled up on some of the floors so I started dropping it all on them to keep them away.
ThE eNd

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France Flight Dream

June6

I was visiting France on a nice sunny weekend. I was staying at a friend’s house in their basement.  Unfortunately once I got a mattress all set up for myself, I realized that it was a communal basement and other guests started pouring in.  I was a little uneasy about it and tried to stay off to myself.  Everyone found a mattress on the floor and butted up next to mine.

I was leaving France and on my way to the airport I had boarded a flying taxi which resembled an amusement park ride car or a jeep of some sort with fresh cut flowers surrounding the exterior.  There was no roof and the seats were arranged one seat per row.

I was fighting with some penguin-like creatures for seats near the front.  Concerned, we all settled because of the rough way we were flying through the city.  We weaved in and out around buildings and balcony patios almost tipping over and falling out.

I saw my grandma wearing a blue dress at one point and we stopped to pick her up. When we landed, we found out that he had died and that I was to tell the family when we were home.  I was upset from this news and didn’t care where I sat on the flying contraption to the airport.

At the airport I was trying to figure out how many tickets that all of my co-workers would need. I argued with the attendant and looked down at my hands, holding a bunch of tickets and passports. I became pretty stressed that I didn’t have it right.

After getting the tickets, I was to pack my bags at a self-bagging area.  There were large boxes to put all of my clothes in, almost like a closet.  I hung up my dresses and stacked my shoes up.  At the top there was a mini-fridge and on the side there were Band-aids that would peel off in case they were needed.

ThE eNd

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Rat Murder Dream

June3

We danced until he couldn’t stand anymore.  My apparently famous dancing partner, of a portly build, wearing glasses and and a pocket protector, had had enough.  He slid to the floor and I gathered him in my arms with no little effort. He snickered and giggled as I weaved my way through the crowd.

The other guests at this party chuckled as I carried him to the elevator.  We were on the 5th floor, full of balloons and music and once inside the elevator, I realized that we were not headed in the right direction.

When the doors opened, we were back at the party.  I explained to the elevator attendant that we need to be on the 5th floor of hotel rooms, not the 5th floor party floor.  Regrouping we made it to my upstairs spare bedroom.

Hot chocolate packs and two rusty bicycle wheels were extracted from my party souvenir bag.  The wheels were assembled into a sort of cage, barely held together with wire. Talking the cage outside into the cold darkness, I mounted my horse with my mom and friends and started a late night ride.

We passed a fence with rickety wire strung loosely along the edge.  I took some needle-nosed pliers and began trimming it away so that we could jump over with ease.  Parallel to our path, a small creek ran by us and my mom pointed out to us that there were a number of violet flowers that started growing on their own throughout the yard.

Once back at the room, I threw a duffel bag with the cage on the floor and it started moving.  A distorted rat face peered out from the bag.  I tried shoving it into the wheel cage but the cage collapsed as I tried.  The rat ran out and was the size of a groundhog.  It was viciously biting at me so I pried his mouth open until his jaw snapped.  There were many sharp teeth which hurt my fingertips.  Breaking his jaw didn’t deter the creature as it began clawing at me.

I grabbed a hammer and flailed about playing a real live game of whack-a-mole with the rat.  I smashed it’s head and it separated from the body.  His muscles twitched and I beat it again.  His slimy claws were clinging to my pant leg and as I backed away from him, it detached from his body and came with me.  Slowly, as if it were still alive and able to harm me, I carefully pulled the clawed paw and leg off of me and cleaned up the mess.

ThE eNd

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Bearded Concert and Fugitive Dream

May27

Dream #1

I woke up in a small bedroom with Rachel and Monica from “Friends”.  We were planning on rearranging the room and I was getting excited about the process.  I took a bookshelf outside my patio door, onto the grass to see where I would put it.  My room was going to be built where a deck should be.  It was hard to arrange furniture in my mind without knowing where the walls would be.

I began to get ready in a janitor’s closet for a brass band concert.  My parents were waiting in the audience.  I brushed my red hair and noticed that I had no hair lower down on the back of my head.  That fact wasn’t too concerning but I realized that I had a bunch of long red hair growing under my chin.  Unlike a typical beard, it was long and oddly placed growing out of my neck  I brushed it over my shoulders and hoped that this would hide it.

Walking into the darkened theater, I found my parents. I sat with them and before the band came out, Brad Paisley began to play guitar.  He had gray hair and I found that odd.

Dream #2

I was a fugitive of sorts but I was innocent of whatever crime I had committed.  I was still extra hairy and felt like a cave man.  A grew of authoritative men chased me  into a vault and locked myself in from the inside.

The vault had a never ending pit off of the one side of the space.  The other side had a ladder leading up a cylindrical perch with a small opening , looking out over the shops below.  I stayed there for ages going mad.

Finally climbing out of the small opening, I ran onto a large cargo truck passing by.  I accented to the top racks and held onto the railing.  A small, old lady wearing red stood by me and made small talk while I scanned the truck to see if I was safe.  My  pursuers saw me though and I watched them shoot two people who had climbed aboard like me.  The victims were wearing red.

The old lady said not to worry because those men would only shoot people in red.  I looked at her concerned for her safety and then realized that I was wearing red too. Right as they were about to reach me, I jumped off and scrambled back up to my safety lair.

Unfortunately they followed me in and I began hand to hand combat with the leader.  The gun fell out of his hands and I grabbed it.  I looked down and he was now my dog Dixie.  I knew Dixie was bad now and would hurt me so I shot at her with my eyes closed.  I opened them to see small bullet holes in her body and she was laying on the ground breathing slowly.  My heart was breaking and I couldn’t  move.

ThE eNd

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Roadside Rest Stop Dream

May23

I slid on ice in my station wagon to a road side rest stop.  Once off of the road, I came upon a cottage-like shelter. In the yard there was a giant swing-set.  I swung for a while and at top speed, felt scared that I might fall out. I slowed down, got off and walked under a pergola in the courtyard.

Entering the cottage, I almost stepped on what I thought were chicks.  When I looked closer, they were actually Ritz crackers standing upright with beaks, pecking the dirt below.  I found this whimsical and continued to tour the place.

In one dimly lit, dusty room I came upon a bunk bed with two oriental ladies hovered together.  They handed me a blanket with two hot water bottles tucked in the folds.  At first confused, I soon realized that these water bottles were the ladies’ babies, so to speak.  I handed them back and knew that they all didn’t have long to live.

I left that room and peaked into another room where a large, giant-like man lay in a small bed.  Once he saw me, he grumbled at me to not to be there.  I went on in and sat by his bed.  I had no fear but soon he started to make me feel uncomfortable so I decided to leave, but as I looked out the window, I saw wolves outside wanting to get in.

Running through the place with my mom, the furniture kept blocking us in.  It was like weaving through a maze.  Finding a clearing at the back kitchen door, we ran past the wolves that were chained up in the lawn.  We barely missed their bites as we ran towards a truck and hopped in, driving away in the night.

ThE eNd

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Holiday Visit and Ark Dream

May14

I went to visit some distant uncle and aunt for the holidays.  When I arrived at their home, I was the one hosting them.  I started cleaning all of the bathrooms meticulously.  While cleaning one of the bathrooms, I found that I needed to use the toilet so I sat down.  The uncle and aunt opened the door and came on in and started to talk to me.  I told them that I was using the toilet but it seemed normal for them to visit like this.  I asked them to leave so I could finish and they did.

It was time to go to the frozen river and participate in the glowing skate.  Walking through the cold woods I could see glowing lights that were being held by a number of people skating in a close bunch. Above them they were holding a truck.

Stepping out on the river some people said that there were unstable areas that I should avoid.  Just as they said that I saw a portion of the ice start to separate and rise up out of the water.  I jumped up onto one of the shifting pieces below me and slid high up into the air.  After the ice settled I fell into the water and scrambled toward the ice.  I got out and jumped up into the truck that the skaters were carrying.  I was so happy to be out.

Once on land, I started climbing up some muddy cliffs toward Noah’s Ark. It was far off and I was having difficulties reaching the top without sliding down with every step.  Once to the top I then had to climb a steep ramp up to the boat.  Grumbling all the way up, I became completely fed up with the situation.

ThE eNd

Extra Dream:  I scheduled an unofficial  happy hour with my company at a bowling bar.  We gathered around the bar while Lady Gaga music played in the background.  I jumped up out of my chair and began performing contemporary dances in an open space.  They were not impressed but I had a great time dancing!

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Guinea Pig Dream

May12

While shopping for gloves at a second hand store I spotted a number of pets for sale in aquarium tanks at the top of some shelves.  A cat sized guinea pig looked down towards me and I felt that I had once owned him.  I remembered having one 30 years ago as a kid and how my mom would shake her finger at him when he wet on the carpet.  He would always respond to that gesture by shaking his finger back at her.  I decided to see if this guinea pig would respond the same way.  After I shook my finger at him, he echoed the gesture!  I was excited that it was once mine and decided to buy him.

I was handed the guinea pig which turned into a large blond woman which lay limp in my arms like a stuffed doll.  I carried her out to the car and we drove away. I ended up back at the second hand store and I now lived there.  The place was pretty dirty, dark and run down.  While walking through some isles I saw an infant wrapped up in some blankets.  I was shocked that it was alone and wondered how long it had been there.  I took it off of the shelf and placed it on the couch.  After leaving to get some water and coming back, the baby no longer had a baby’s head but an adult head.  The head was a creepy looking man’s head with greased back black hair and crooked teeth.  I was not interested in taking care of it anymore.

ThE eNd

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